Relearning Education

The other day I met with the teacher I will be observing for my ED100 course. This course is designed to be an introduction to being in education. I was really excited to go get in the classroom to help and observe, and then the day finally came. I've been placed in a 6th grade Language Arts class at a school a couple of miles North of CC. As I was driving there, I was astounded at how quickly the neighborhoods changed from beautifully maintained old houses to more run-down ranches. I almost missed the school, and after I finally figured out how to get into the parking lot, I went to sign in at the main office. I guess I wasn't expecting what I encountered. I make it to the front door, which was locked. I had to ring a doorbell, wait for a click, and then entered the office. I was not met with the smile and "Good afternoon" I was used to when visiting a school in my district at home. Instead, a woman briskly asked me what I was doing there. I stood there with a smile plastered on my face, CC information folder in hand, and gave her my most cheerful explanation as I signed in. The woman slid a visitor badge across the counter to me, gave me brief directions as to how to find the classroom I was going to, and then shooed me into the hall.

*****

Needless to say, I began this post weeks ago, waiting to expand upon it until after my first observation day. I have since changed placement teachers and now I am working with two 8th grade Language Arts teachers. Yesterday, I went in for a full six hours, and it was quite an experience. I began the day in Ms. R's reading class, moving on to her advanced class, and then a period of Mr. M's American History class, finishing the day with two periods of Mr. P's Language Arts. Each class had a different personality, yet there were several things I noticed no matter the class I was in:

1. There are too many students. Each student needs varying levels of help, each vying for the teacher's limited attention. This basically mandates that students will fall through the cracks, which just causes more problems down the line.
2. The students who don't want to be there distract the teacher from teaching those who really do care. Teachers seem to be under the impression that the students who want to learn will just take care of themselves. This doesn't seem to be the case--these students want to interact with their teachers and their peers, but teachers get distracted by those students causing problems.
3. If you assume the kids are going to do something wrong, they probably will. Some teachers use the outside-of-school circumstances of students as an excuse for the students not doing well, and therefore they must rule their class with an iron fist. I observed students who in one class who acted out (the teacher was extremely strict and tyrannical) and then an hour later in another classroom and under the guidance under another teacher they were some of the most engaged students, volunteering to speak and contributing positively to the class.
4. If an environment is created in which learning becomes something fun, students will remain engaged. If kids are engaged, they will be positive and ready to learn. If they are just being talked at
5. Discipline has to be consistent.

I could not believe the differences between the three teachers. Each had their own preconceptions about the students, and I know the students were able to pick up on them. Seeing this really proved to me that the teacher's attitude directly influences the classroom personality and environment.

*****

And now here I am, after completing the program and my 30 hours. I wish I had been posting more consistently throughout my experiences, but unfortunately life and class got in the way. I do still have my journal from the class, so I have some stuff to reflect on. From this experience, I am reaffirmed in my belief that I want to be a teacher. The experience was invaluable--I was able to see aspects of teaching I had never been exposed to before. I don't really want this post to run on and on, so perhaps I'll go to my journal later and do another post of highlights. Perhaps I won't. We'll just have to see, won't we?

Holy Moly, Batman!

The last three and a half weeks of my life have rushed past in a blur. I can hardly believe how much has happened in the month I've been back at school.

Today I finished my first block of my sophomore year. It was absolutely superb--I mean, what could be a better way to start your year than taking Introduction to Shakespeare? As an English major, absolutely nothing. This choice proved to be a wonderful one. As I mentioned in my last post, I'd already read two of the plays (Hamlet and Henry IV, Part I), and knew a third (Much Ado About Nothing), leaving one play (The Winter's Tale) which I was unfamiliar with. I am always amazed by just how much you can get out of a play, even if you'd read it before. Actually, especially if you've read it before. I've always been interested in Ophelia--I never really bought that she was an oblivious character kind of unimportant to the plot. We had this amazing guest lecturer come in to our class and she did an ecofeminist reading of Ophelia. It was beyond interesting. It really challenged my previous readings, forced me to look at through another lens, and reassess my thoughts. That's what I love about books in general--every time you read them, you bring something new to the table and challenge the text, or vice versa. I love when that happens.

On another note, sorority recruitment went well. Our numbers were lower than usual, but the quality of girls was just astounding. And on top of that, I'm so happy to be a Kappa. All of my sisters are absolutely wonderful. I feel that, as a house, we've grown so much closer to each other because of two weeks of sheer insanity and seeing each other constantly. I have a feeling this is going to be a good year. We've got big plans for our philanthropy event and everybody is stoked to get started on that. I'm just thrilled this year!

It is now block break, and instead of heading up north to spend some quality time with the family, I am off to Kansas for my first college-level speech competition. I'm scared out of my mind. I've been so busy that I don't feel prepared. But I'm just going to have to suck it up and go for it. I've never felt truly ready for just about any tournament I've gone to over the years. I guess it just goes with the territory. I just have to take the plunge. We'll see how if goes--I've really missed Speech and I've been really happy working on my pieces. I feel at home. I feel in my element. Now, we'll just have to see where that takes me...

As Summer Comes Whooshing to an End...

Busy.

That's basically the only word that can begin to encompass my life right now. For the past few weeks, I have been (thankfully) working, but at 30+ hours a week. It has been rough, I haven't really gotten a chance to breathe since the new library opened, but that's okay. I had almost forgotten just how much I love my job, and creating a new system for the new library has been quite the adventure. There really is nothing like handling books in a beautiful, new space--the new location sure makes going to work so much more enjoyable (especially since we have been having record-setting temperatures here, and the new library is a little A/C heavy).

Work isn't the only thing occupying my time. Its almost time for me to head back to campus, and I cannot wait. Saturday's the day, and at this point, Saturday can't come fast enough. I grossly misunderestimated the sheer amount of things I have to do to get ready. I never really unpacked earlier this summer when I got home, but recently the realization of not having an elevator in my dorm finally sunk in. Thus, I've been unpacking my supposedly pre-packed boxes, sorting through them to decide what I really do need vs. what I think I might need at some point in time (without ever really coming up for a situation which calls for both of my large, leather-bound copies of the complete works of Austen and Shakespeare), and condensing my life into smaller, lighter boxes which can easily be carried up several flights of stairs.

In doing so, I've decided that being an English major is not very conducive to packing lightly. My love of books is proving to be a difficult handicap. I have piles in my room here at home: books that are definitely coming with me, without any question or discussion; books I would love to bring, but could be potentially convinced not to; and books that can come only if I have room in my car when everything else has already been stuffed in. Unfortunately, the pile of the first category is massive, with very little in the latter two. It also doesn't help that my books are some of my most prized possessions. I don't want anything to happen to them at school (heaven forbid someone borrows one and I forget to write it down) nor do I want them to be left at home and neglected for months at a time. I am facing a difficult quandary, with little time to fashion a solution.

Despite this minor(ish) setback, I'm super stoked to begin this next year at CC. I can't wait to get back to the people I had to leave behind for three months. I'm amazed at how quickly I forged such strong bonds with such incredible people, and I have missed them all terribly this summer. Our brief and random chats over the summer have been a huge part of what has kept me going--when I wasn't working and not doing much with my life beyond watching rerun marathons of ANTM, our conversations helped keep me sane. And in a few sort days, we will be back again in a lovely groove of hanging out, talking, drinking tea, and studying (of course).

Something I'm most excited about is my first block class: Introduction to Shakespeare. In a fit of recent insomnia, I navigated over to the bookstore website to investigate whether or not my book list had been posted. I knew we were going to be reading four plays over the block--a comedy, a history, a tragedy, and another of the professor's choosing--I just didn't know which ones. Amazingly, the book list was posted. And I was so thrilled. Of the four plays, I've read two (Hamlet and Henry IV, pt. I) and I know the third very well (Much Ado About Nothing), the only one I am not familiar with is The Winter's Tale. I really give props to the AHS English department on this one--I couldn't ask for any better preparation than Mrs. F and Mr. K for AP Lang and AP Lit, respectively. This class is going to be sheer enjoyment for me, and that's just what I need to start my year.

So, I still have much to do and about 13 more hours of work this week before I make the hour trek south to the Springs, and I couldn't be more excited. Sophomore year, here I come!

Reflections on the Future

I haven't had much to write about in the past week. But then yesterday was my birthday, and that got me thinking about my future, which is rather scary. As of 7:06 AM on July 14th, I began my nineteenth year of life. Nineteen--that means I've almost been alive for two decades. Eek! I don't feel any older, and I certainly don't feel any wiser, but upon reflections while driving, I realized I've already joined the adult world.

This spring I bought my first car (used, but still), and have already had to pay for some maintenance. That was the most money I've ever shelled out on anything...it was five times more expensive than my laptop, which was the most money I've spent up to this point. I have to pay for my own gas, and the one birthday present which made my day was my AAA membership. If there is any indication of being a grown-up, I think that would be it.

This summer has been challenging because of the economy. Before I even came home I had twelve job applications for jobs in my area, and then I only heard back from two, both of which I interviewed for and subsequently did not get the job. Now, I had a job lined up at the library I work for, but we were moving from one location to a new one, so the library was closed for close to a month and a half, meaning, no job. Now that the library is re-opening on Friday, I am scrambling to pick up any and all available shifts, trying to make up for my lack of income at the beginning of the summer.

I also recently took out a loan for some of my school tuition. Signing my name on that document was surreal--I am officially in debt. I know it is a fact of life, but at this point, it looks pretty bleak. I am a full time student, not eligible for work study, and no income to speak of during the school year. It makes me worry, even though I know all the facts--the grace period of six months post-graduation before I have to start paying it back, the loan forgiveness for teachers who devote several years to teaching in high-need areas.

All of this leads to an internal crisis I've been experiencing regarding my schooling. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do--get my degree in English and be certified to teach in my four undergrad years, and get my Masters in teaching the next. Then I started pondering dropping the certification (the Masters program I am interested in offers both certification and the Masters in fourteen months) so that I would have time to minor in something that really interests me, like psychoanalysis or feminist and gender studies. And something recently happened that has me thinking about law school. Not to mention my yen for studying abroad. As much as I am loving being home for the summer, lacking a job for the first half sure gave me a ton of time to think and I fear I have been thinking too much. For the first time in years, I don't know what I want to do on a grand scale. That freaks me out.

I guess what I am learning is that this constant state of never really knowing is just a part of life, and it only seems to get worse as you get older. But then again, nothing gets better until it has been the worst. I'm trying to remain hopeful, because things will get better. They just have to.

And Now For Something Completely Different...

So. Welcome. I guess I should write a little bit about myself. Don't worry, it isn't going to be what you would expect. Nothing boring--you can learn that from my profile. I was thinking something more along the lines of completely random and unrelated to anything. That's typically how I look at things.

Just kidding. I was thinking this post would be more along the lines of my expectations for myself and what I hope this blog will be (warning: this is subject to change without notice). I hope this blog will become a habit of mine. I've never been very consistent in writing journals or anything, but I want to change that and I think this blog is the perfect medium for me to do so. I hope to record my thoughts and the randomness of my life, not only for you, fabulous audience, but for myself. I suppose you can expect to see anything ranging from favorite quotes to lyrics of songs that strike me to images that inspire me to my slightly lacking dabblings in creative writing. Who knows. I'm typically the person who lays everything out on the table, expecting order and consistency. Well, if there is anything my first year at college taught me, it's to expect the unexpected and just go with whatever strikes your fancy. So, this is me. On an adventure. Which rarely happens. I'm both incredibly excited and rather skeptical. But if there is one thing I'm ready for, it's this. I hope this is going to be an exciting ride. Welcome aboard.